What I Think About at Work

If anyone ever tells you, “I’m completely devoted mind, body, and soul to my job while I’m at work,” this person is likely the biggest, fattest liar you know. Why? People daydream while they’re driving, while they’re having family interventions, during sex, the moment one realizes someone is staring at them in an extremely close and uncomfortable manner. We all daydream. My job is typically, almost always, quiet and most time the only way around it is to talk to my co-worker, raise some hell, or think up pleasant or horrifying scenarios in my head; my favorite on being finding a huge stash of money while I’m walking my dog, in all honesty it’s my most replayed fantasy.

Since working in a beige box doesn’t provide much of a jumping point for creative stimulation, I have reliable sources of mental inspiration. Here are some thoughts that help get me through the day.

1) I’ll Change the World Once I Get Outta Here!

The good ole self-delusion thought. The thoughts where I am a natural go-getter who writes a book, saves polar bears from drowning to death in the Alaskan wild, speaks her mind no matter what, and also manages to wear amazing knee-length coats with grace and immaculately tailored style. The I’m going to change the world woman is your fellow poor writer at her best. She’s the person I think of when my outlook on life verges on emo. During these times I trade dissatisfaction for fantasy and desires into comedy seeing as I can’t get any writing done while I’m at work. Oh, well.

2) The If Only I Wasn’t at Work Scenario

Some people like to bush buttons and if you’re not privy to giving them a reaction, like yours truly, they’ll carry on in the hopes of breaking your will in order to get what they want. Some people, some truly ignorant pieces of (fill in the blank) will ramble off the most offensive and/or ridiculous things they can think of. When they do, my inner monster thoughts come out, Godzilla style.

godzilla animated GIF

In my dream of dreams I can tell these shams of humanity how I really feel. I could say, “Go home to your nonexistent life,” and not only would my boss applaud me, but would give me a raise as well! I could stand tall against the morons who put ludicrous words in mouth, those who will lie through their gap teeth to get out of paying for lost or damaged materials. “Guess no one ever taught you how to live your life with a trace amount of decency, huh?” If only, if only.

3) Job Satisfaction Exists, Doesn’t It?”

If you read the papers, listen to talk radio, or even skim half-decent media sources on Twitter, then I’m sure you’ve heard the market is becoming its old healthy self again, and new jobs are being crapped out left and right in the private sector. Though these headlines are good to hear, if you’re a new grad, a young person, one of the long-term unemployed, or one of the many underpaid part-time workers, you’re not seeing your pockets flood with milk and honey just yet, just chump change and tears. I’m grateful to be working, grateful to be working in a field I enjoy and want to further my education in (three cheers for grad school!), yet I revel in thoughts of the future: career, money…more money. I want a comfy life only a salary and benefits can provide. In the past I’d be discouraged for going the traditional route instead of following the on the brink of complete psychological annihilation and starvation route of the artiste. Whatevs. At my current age I’ve realized and know that there’s more than one way to become the artist you want to be. There is no sure path to finding artistic salvation. Personally, as long as I’m writing something surprising for myself, I’m happy. Sort of.

On a good day I’m too busy working to be thinking about anything other than the task at hand. I love those days. At times my mind is so packed with warped ideas and images that make me laugh, all I can do from running out of the building is to stop drinking coffee. If you have thoughts which keep you entertained throughout the day, comment below.




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