Pump Yourself Up with a Faux Resume

You know something? When you’re job hunting, not only do you feel like crap because you don’t have money to sustain your Oreo and coffee habit (this results in guilt), but you start to feel a bit down when you get no responses back.

It’s sort of like when you’re at a bar and when you walk up to that pretty dapper man over there, only to get turned down.

Just lots of times.

And in silence.

Potential employers just don’t need to contact you to let you know. The guy at the bar will at least talk politely to you (hopefully. If he’s a gentleman, at least). So after sending in resume after resume,  you’re left to feeling like crap in the silence of your apartment as you mentally try to cheer yourself, because no one loves you and your Netflix is down.

In the midst of sending out tons of resumes this week, I realized that possible employers won’t see a lot of who I am from what I wrote. As a result I created this graphic resume, which I’ve been wanting to make since I saw it on Pinterest like a nerd.

And I figured, I’d list everything out that I feel pretty good about or would want to brag about, because there’s no room on a real resume for it.

What do you think? I’d hire me.


While this resume won’t work towards getting a career, it did help boost my sense of self for a good while. And I can always use it in that bar scenario, I suppose, just to give Mr. Dapper Man a better visual of Georgette.


2 thoughts on “Pump Yourself Up with a Faux Resume

  1. I like it! Better to look at than black and white tiny font.

    And remember: You are Mickey Rooney – you CAN play that part!

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